It's the last day of the Big Bear Rescue for February and I have to say, it's pretty frustrating selling 'a few' and after the expenses of printing and mailing, pocketing what amounts to small change. That's not to say I'm not grateful to all of the people who have bought a shirt along the way so far - and it's not even saying that I think everybody in the world should want one. In fact, if I were to say anything negative about the whole thing, it would kind of cheapen it and I don't want to do that because I still believe in what I'm doing with it.
But there has to be a better way because when just 2% of people who visit the page actually make a purchase, I'm doing something wrong. There has to be a better way because when you ask the very organisation you're doing it alongside of to give you the briefest of mentions on social media as they have the hotline to the audience that cares the most - and they don't - I'm doing something wrong.
Seems to me that for all the fireworks in the sky over social media and all the Big Talk about 'everything being in your control thanks to the internet' - real media (radio, television and magazines) still rule.
I didn't want to take another break from the project but I might have to put March on the sidelines to figure it out. I feel guilty over the time the artists have put in that there's not more comeback from it. I've got guilt over the sanctuary I promised I'd support - but most of all, I'm beginning to wonder if my time wouldn't be better spent handing over cash out of my wages and lying around watching TV in the evening instead of trying to save a tiny corner of the world.
Somewhere inside, I know I'm just not reaching the right people but you get where I'm coming from right? People get famous in 2017 for being filmed watching TV and that's what I'm up against.
But the truth is, being like everybody is the same as being nobody and that road never was for me.
Time for Plan B - because this is still unacceptable.