The Chant Of The Lizard King
How many stories have you told yourself today? Told yourself the one about how you're not good enough yet? That's a good one - maybe it's your favourite because it's the one you tell yourself as soon as you wake up. How about the one where the script is a line or two your folks threw out at you one day. That's also a good one - one of my personal favourites if I'm honest. We've all got them. You might not think you do, but you do. Let's not forget the off-kilter ones either - the ones in which all the messages to yourself are positive, crazy huge fist in the air positive and yet, every time you shoot your arrow, somebody moves the bar.
Stories are all we consist of. There is nothing else. Some are true, some are false but it doesn't really matter because you will believe them all anyway. Think about it. The tribe you've chosen to belong to - and yes you belong to a tribe, it may be a religious tribe, a political tribe, a musical tribe, sports tribe, dieting tribe, shopkeeper tribe... and you can probably hoist the flag on multiple tribes you belong to without even knowing it - is a group story.
Point of this piece? I've begun to look for the space between the cracks - for the silence in which I'm not telling myself anything at all - because I'm quite liking the idea of telling myself a whole library of different stories. Not in a 'turn your life upside down' kind of way, but I'm certainly smacking my hand down on the reset button and today, that consists of listening to The Doors at a volume that suggests I should call the police on myself.
If you do something with conviction for long enough, you don't even have to convince yourself of the reality of your situation. The lie will simply take over... and that's a good thing. Fake it 'til you make it but you had best make sure when you start the lie that it's a good one and worth spending all of the minutes of your life chasing.